time

The first element to TRUST is time.

You will never get quality time unless you have quantity time.  Those moments of quality time always come when you least expect them.  I have schedule meaningful time with my wife, children and members of my business only to be disappointed with the outcome.  I have also been surprised by the meaningful times I have encountered just by being there.

So! How do you pull this off.  How do you have meaningful times with those you value most.  I think planned time with no agenda and expected outcome can produce those times.  I am not saying get together and just look at each other.  Planned “white space” in your schedule will produce the opportunity.  At work I try to have at least 1/2 of my day with no agenda.  I want to be available for the members of my team and guests to have access to me.  I do not want to appear to be too busy for them.  I will set down at a table with them as they are eating just to visit.  I will go and hang out near the stations where my team members work just to have conversations with them.  Also, I will make sure I know each persons name and can speak to them by name.  It is absolutely true, the sweetest name you will ever hear is your own.

With my family I try to keep our agendas simple.  My wife in particular likes a real simple agenda.  This is hard for me because I am used to going 150 miles an hour.  It is easy to be together with a full agenda and feel at the end of your time that your are no closer than before.  This is very difficult to master because we all live such full schedules.  Small children sense this more than adults.  I am sure this happened to you when your children were small.  I remember after a busy day, I was trying to listen to one of my children describe their day and something they are really excited about.   They sensed I was not paying attention to what they are saying and grabbed me by the cheeks pulling my face close to their eyes to make sure I was only listening to them.  What a blessing to have God speak through the words and actions of our children.  I was immediately reminded of my lack of concentration.  As I focused on their words, I saw them light up with joy because I was listening only to them.

Adults are too fearful to act this way.  I am convinced if everyone around us could grab our cheeks and pull our faces close to hear the intimate longings of their hearts we would have those moments of quality.  I know our lives would be different and we would have those times of quality relationships.

Leave “white space” for those quality times.  You will begin to establish TRUST with those you care for most.